slave pat: Ms. SouthEast LeatherFest 2014
"Ms SELF 2014, slave pat's journey has been focused on service. She became active in the community about 2006 and spent much time volunteering for numerous fund raisers sponsored by the House of Decorum Humanitarion Organization which is run by Master Jan. She also learned much from that amazing Leather Family. Slave pat's passions are service and protocol, and knew almost immediately that her's was the life of a slave. She began this journey much later in life and is positive that without this life she would be at home sitting in a rocking chair watching reruns of Lawrence Welk and Gunsmoke instead of climbing on her motorcycle and taking off for parts unknown, or taking the initiative to find out who she is. The BDSM community started out to be that of kink and evolved very quickly to Leather where she embraces truth, honesty, respect and loyalty. Slave pat also realizes that the Leather Lifestyle is much more than just a lifestyle it is where her spirituality lives. Slave pat is looking forward to working with her title family to making this an outstanding year and looking forward to SELF 2014!"
2018 Update: There were so many things that began to change in my life almost immediately after I received my title as 2014 Ms. SELF. I traveled a lot my title year within my region and outside my region. I was received warmly wherever I went. There was so much to learn that year. I learned about myself, about my community, about friends and family and even about my professional life.
I would have an experience and could somehow notice that “if” I would have had that experience prior to having held my title I would not have handled it the same way. I now had a responsibility and a confidence that I not only represented myself, but I represented the whole southeast region. I also know that I would not have had the same experiences I had if I had not been Ms. SELF.
Before my title year ended I was collared and became the property of Master Patricia from AZ. She has encouraged me, guided me, and inspired me to continue to grow. Some of that growth has been painful but every bit of it has been exciting and rewarding.
This is an update of what has been going on in my life since my title year ended in 2014. In an attempt to become our authentic selves we both began to use our name Patricia. I took it a step farther and with Master's permission changed my last name to DeZor. I did not want to keep my married name and did not want to use my maiden name so we are now both Patricia DeZor. I continued to be part of the faculty of Butchmanns Experience. This is a weekend event where I get to serve the Instructors (Master Patricia being one of those instructors) other faculty and attendees in whatever way is needed. This is a very rewarding weekend as it is a way that I can contribute to others who are doing their own work, simply by being present. I try to be available to continue to serve my community in whatever way is needed.
In May of 2017, I had the fortune to leave my job in SC and move to Tucson, AZ so that I could serve Master Patricia 24/7. This has been one of the happiest and most rewarding years of my life. I have been able to go to work part-time which affords me time to serve as She desires.
This year Master Patricia has tasked the slave to assist her in putting on a bootblack contest along with the Southwest Person of Leather that Master produces. This is very exciting as well as scary as this is out of my scope of practice. I know bootblacking and will be seen doing some of that locally again but assisting in putting on a bootblack contest is a huge responsibility. Watch for Baja Bootblack Contest in October as part of Behind Closed Doors in Tucson AZ.
I am excited to be attending Edgewalkers, which will take place between the time this is posted and the time I see you all at SELF, 2018.
Sending love to all and looking forward to seeing you all soon.
slave patricia 2014 Ms. SELF
Calendar of Events
Butchmann's Experience Baltimore: June 27 - June 29, 2014
Tarheels Stars and Stripes: July 11 - July 13, 2014
WILL: August 1 - Aug 3, 2014
Master/slave Conference: August 28 - September 1, 2014
Leather History Conference: October 31 - November 2, 2014
Southwest Leather Conference: January 15 - January 18, 2014
2015
January 10 – Warehouse, Greenville, SC – Presenting Phantom Blue and slave sheri
January 15 – January 20 Southwest Leather Conference – Phoenix, AZ
February 13 – February 15 Butchmann's Weekend – Phoenix AZ
February 16 – Apex, Phoenix AZ – Ipads to Denture Cream
February 21 – Asheville, NC Asheville Mast
February 26 – March 3 Las Vegas, NV Sin in the City
March 6 – March 8 (Tentative) Greensboro, NC Submissive Symposium – Presenting Phantom Blue – slave sheri
March 14 – Orlando, FL – The Woodshed – Self Fundraiser
March 21 – Augusta, GA – Airs Augusta = Ipads to Denture Cream
April 4 – Nashville, TN – The Mark – Needles used in RitualsA
April 10 – April 13 Phoenix, AZ – Butchmann's Pansexual Experience
June 18 – June 21 Atlanta, GA – SELF 20th Anniversary – Step Down
Stepdown Speech 2015
April 2014 Column
Where has this year gone. In no time my title year will be coming to an end. Such a bitter sweet ending. It is hard to imagine one's life can change so much in one short year.
I would like to use this time to encourage others to decide to run for title. It doesn't matter if it is M/s, Ms, Mr, Bootblack or Person of Leather. I have spoken about all the amazing changes in my life. About my personal growth as a titleholder. I have spoken about the numerous people I have had the opportunity to meet. Now I would like to recognize some of the people who have helped me make those changes.
It begins with that person who encourages you to run. The one stands behind you with the boot on to kick you in the a__ when you start having second thoughts. SELF's contest coordinator, possibly the first person you contact officially and will be in contact with frequently as you get ready for the "big event".
My recommendation is find someone you know who has run for a title before, latch on and let them guide you and help you. If it is someone who is willing to follow through and be your handler for the event all the better.
Now it is time for the event. (If it were really all that easy.) You will find there are so many who will be willing to help you prepare. Donate to your basket, give advice, offer help and moral support, help you study etc. It is quite amazing but once you hit that event....WOW.
You have studied the judges, who they are, what they are known for, you may have met them before in passing, or not really ever seen them. They are like super-hero's. Looking back, I feel like I rarely saw them except when officially being judged but somehow you knew they were there. Watching how you interacted with others, your mannerisms anything they could pick up that would give a clue as to how you would represent your title. I cannot tell you how many times this past year I have thought of those judges and could just hug them. They have traveled with me this year, whether they realize it or not. I have thought back on things they have said to me before and after I received my title. I look forward to seeing them again. I feel confident that I could go to any of them and ask for guidance and they would be quite willing and happy to offer it.
Then came SELF Staff! Lady Catherine always available, checking in from time to time to say I haven't heard from you, what's going on? Are you taking care of yourself? SELF really has come to mean so much to me. The dreaded call when you think you really screwed up and Lady Catherine is there to talk you through it, give you advice on how to unscrew things and move on. There to tell you when you are sick and can't make a commitment that you are the one who is important and that "shit happens", reschedule and move on. What an empire and what an amazing person to run it.
SELF Den Daddy or Mommy. OMG, You would not survive the contest if it was not for this person. They are there for technical support, wardrobe advice, hugs, encouragement, time management, more hugs, more technical advice and they have a wealth of knowledge and an abundance of compassion. Utilize it and it shall make the whole weekend so much easier. When you are done you will have no clue what you would have done without them.
SELF advertising. They will cheer you on, share what you are doing, where you are doing it, and how long it took you. Ok perhaps that is going a bit far, but you will find they go far to share what is going on in your life and to promote you.
SELF Staff behind the scenes. I won't try to begin to name them, but know that if you win that title they go way beyond what their duties call for. SELF is a passion for every member of the staff and as a titleholder you could not be in better hands. I cannot give enough thanks.
Handlers how can you function without them. I was so fortunate. My handlers were not only there for the event, but they were part of my fantasy, they helped me weeks before the event and have been there ever since.
SELF attendees. The night you receive that title everything seems so surreal. I continue to say it is even overwhelming. Those who have cheered you on, and with the new audience voting have helped you become the titleholder. Those who come to you after and congratulate you. So many you don't even know, and so many you have looked up to and are now telling you what a great job you did.
Then your sash family. You have spent each day and night bonding and encouraging the other and hugging. Lots of hugging going on, and you learn things about your sash sisters and brothers you did not know. You get to run into them at events through the year and there is something special about it.
These are only a few of the people who have affected my life this year, but it is by far one of the most memorable years of my life. All I can say at this time is thank you SELF!!!!
December 2014 Column
The second quarter as Ms Self continued to have me on the road, during October and part of November. As the holidays set in I began to slow down and reflect at how my life has been affected by holding the title of Ms SELF.
Things had begun to change and I had grown prior to running for Ms SELF. I had already learned to be more confident in myself, and I must admit I was proud of myself for that self-growth. Little did I know how much more was yet to come.
I learned during the contest that I was no longer that timid little mouse and I was able to voice my opinions and represent ideas and ideals I believed in. I learned during that run that my life would never be as it was before. I am proud to be part of my title family. I admire and respect so many of those who walked before me, and I have learned to appreciate them as individuals with great strengths. I look forward to being available and supportive of those who will walk this path after me.
I gradually learned, understood and accepted the fact that the saying "there is someone for everyone" is not necessarily true. I accepted in my heart that that was probably the case for me and for the first time in my life, I was ok with that. No one was going to make me feel incomplete because I did not have someone in my life, especially me. No one was going to make me feel less of a slave because I had no Master to serve. I had as much to offer as anyone and with receiving my title I was going to live up to my responsibility and serve my community to the best of my ability.
I had been talking with Master Trish for probably about a year and we had spoken about me going into service to Her, and while we spoke about it being a possibility somehow it was difficult to believe that it would transpire. I had accepted the fact that I was ok serving the community and I chose to take it slow and if this was part of the path the universe wanted me to take it would take place without me trying to force it. In November, after a visit and attending House of Decorum's Leather Ball with me Master Trish made it official and this slave is now in service to one of the kindest most beautiful women she has ever known. She is as beautiful inside as she is outside and keeps this slave on a path of learning and growing. It is amazing that what I experience as a titleholder can hold so many of life's lessons. It is also so very wonderful that Master Trish compliments those lessons and helps me identify them.
I guess if I would want to leave any advice to anyone considering running it would be to look into your heart and if there is a desire to serve your community and the feeling that you have something that is worth sharing take that step to become a titleholder. It is an experience like none other and something that will never be regretted. Just know that it will change your life and it will change it forever.
Thank all of you for allowing me the opportunity to represent so many amazing people.
September 2014 Column
I have always been active in the community but it has always been from behind the scenes. Little did I know how my life was about to change. When I ran for Ms Self, 2014 I was well aware of the responsibilities that went along with being a titleholder, but it was not till the morning after that it really hit me what an impact I had made and how important those responsibilities really are. Those who I have always looked up to were coming to me and telling me what an important message I had shared. I believe the week after was a combination of feeling surreal, overwhelmed, and very humble.
It has been an extremely busy first quarter as I hit the ground running. The very first thing I attended was an On the Road Butchmann's Experience in Baltimore where I was able to interact with the attendees and share my experience as a new Southeast Leather Fest Titleholder. Then it was on to Stars and Stripes in North Carolina produced by The Tarheels. This was a lot of fun. My newly found Sash family and I sponsored one of the morning wake-up socials. Having a chance to spend the weekend with my new family and with so many friends that I have known for a long time was very calming for me. I was able to get ideas for my title year, suggestions from those I have known and respected. It was just awesome.
Then as August rolled around I attended and volunteered at Women's International Leather Legacy in Dallas, TX. How amazing that was getting to meet so many prestigious women in our community. I also had the privilege to do my first presentation as Ms SELF, 2014. IPads to Denture Cream. Can't imagine how my first presentation would be at an International Contest but everyone was very welcoming and I was able to receive more ideas. From there it was on to AZ where I attended an all Women's Butchmanns.
Back home I got to do a class on Self Defense at my home dungeon The Warehouse SC. That was a lot of fun. "How to stay out of trouble and what to do if that doesn't work out." I had a co presenter from where I work who has extensive training in self defense and who made everything very simple so it is easier to remember should you end up in a bad situation. Presenting to my local community is such an honor as many have been with me since the beginning.
Then the Master/slave Conference in DC. Another amazing weekend. I was there with my leather family, I was able to spend time with even more friends that I have met through my travels. I was also able to be in service to someone very special to me for the weekend, and last but not least I was given my earned leather boots. I have been blessed in so many ways and the year is just beginning. I feel like Princess slave pat.
The last weekend during this first quarter was in Alabama where I attended Nassa's annual picnic. It was such an honor to present for such a wonderful group. There was a combination of those who I have known and those who I was just having the pleasure of meeting for the first time. One of the best parts of all of this has been making so many new friends and getting to see so many that I don't get to see very often. I also got the chance to be fire flogged for the first time. Sure hope that isn't my last chance...I do like it hot!!
I am so looking forward to the next three months. October is a busy month for me with exciting things happening. Please see my schedule on Fetlife, Facebook and here on the SELF webpage. If you can make it to any place I am presenting please say hello. If I am not presenting in your area please contact me. My goal is to hit every state and by the end of this weekend I will have been in 5 of the 11 states I represent. November was suppose to be a quiet month but that just didn't happen the way I had it planned however I like it this way much better. December I will spend working and spending with family, leather and biological.
I would like to close with a thank you to all of you. If I have touched one person with the messages that I share I will consider this a successful year and your kindness and generosity has made that possible. You have all gone far beyond any of my expectations reaching out to me, making me feel welcome I cannot even begin to express my gratitude. Hoping to see you all very soon.
slave pat
Ms SELF, 2014