Coming Soon!

This has been a whirlwind of a time. Coming out for the first time as Person of Leather started with members of my vanilla family. My children have known since they came of age or simply figuring it out that I am part of the Leather Life. The rest of my family knew without too much detail. The day after I returned from SELF, I started going to each family member and telling them what I had become. It was a terrifying moment. I was met with an acceptance and Love that so many are denied. I am humbled by their support even though they don't fully understand the Lifestyle. Going to a dear friend of mine who was volunteering with her church at Pride was comical. Her response was “I have a confession as well. I am a monogamous, straight woman. I hope that you can still accept me in your life knowing this about me.” Later that weekend, she posted my SE PoL picture at her church booth with kind words on Facebook.

“I have known this beautiful soul for 19 years now and it wasn't until this week that she entrusted me with her story. Y'all-Sit down with people and LISTEN to their hearts.”

Nashville Pride weekend was just filled with laughter and warmth. Walking with my friends and others like The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence was a liberating experience. I talked to people I haven't seen in awhile. I saw people I would have never guessed as supporters or as gay before. I watched as families, young and old, walked together in solidarity with members of our marginalized part of society. We talked of how far we have come and the fears that hard won victories could be overturned by the current Administration. It was also bittersweet with people on the tourist part of town turning their backs on the walkers in disgust. Many pretending as we cheered and chanted that we didn't exist. In my mind, I reminded myself that it will take one step at a time, as well as one person at a time, to be welcomed as valid people within a system that still wants to keep us in the dark while we dare to walk proudly in the light of day. My friends, Carmina and Adder, let me use their Bisexual and Leather Pride flags to stand in front of the protestors. The feeling was so enthralling to stand up to them so openly. Hearing the cheers and seeing others also speaking against them made me feel so proud of Nashville. I can't wait to do it over and over again.

I am getting ready to travel to Newark, NJ. This will be my first time going to TesFest on July 6th through the 8th. I will be doing two presentations on Race Play which is scheduled for Saturday, July 7th at 3:45 pm and Primal Play at 9 am on July 8th. On July 10th at 6 PM, I will be at the Misfit Munch in Antioch, TN. On July 26, I will be in Chattanooga for the Speakeasy Socialites munch. And finally, on July 28th, I will be doing a photo session with Demon_Dolls who is the founder of The Transparency Project. TTP does free photo sessions for the trans community to help combat body dysmorphia and promote self esteem. Then later that evening, I will be at 1763 in Atlanta, GA. I hope to meet some of you there!

One of the things about representing this title is that it’s not just about community but acceptance. One of the questions asked of me during the contest has remained with me that was regarding fetishes that make me uncomfortable. Acceptance is something that so many have looked for and have found when they have joined our community. The freedom of knowing that where you go in this Wonderland, you will find others like yourself.

My initial time out of my comfort zone was TESfest. I was lucky to have been asked to be a presenter before the contest and was proud to represent the Southeast as PoL. What. An. Experience. The New York/New Jersey Leather Community from the time I was picked up from the airport until taken back was just as warm and friendly as my Atlanta Leather Family. As a Race Player, I wasn’t sure how my Taboo Class was going to be accepted but the people were not just intrigued but many were various types of Taboo players that were looking for acceptance and community of like mind. It was there that I met the folks of “Off the Cuffs” and will be doing a podcast with them next month regarding taboo play. I also presented my favorite topic of Primal Play and had a beautiful demo bottom who was just the sweetest primal kitten you could ever have. The NY/NJ Primals are slightly different from the Southeast Primals. I honestly think they are a bit more rough and tumble which was a delight to be a part of. One of the attendees had a moment during my class. His smartwatch alerted him that his pulse went up even though he was not being active. I don’t think you can have a higher compliment on your presentation. Thanks, Apple.

I spent time around my community Elders like MamaDomme and Sayuri Kane. I don’t usually see Leather explored in my local area anymore except for a few places like Clarksville. Many people tend to forget or discount the people that paved the way for us for one reason or another. In our busy lives we tend to go for shortcuts without realizing there are resources of the human factor that can guide us and show us things that they have found to work. And they are excellent in being there to bounce new ideas off of them and be inspired by what has gone before.

I was also unfortunately involved in a car accident and my van was totaled. Thankfully, my daughter has stepped in to get me to the events that are important to me. Like going to the Murfreesboro Pride celebration.

It’s getting closer to election time and learning about candidates has never been more important. I happen to know one of the candidates for our local election who is not just an ally for the LGBTQ communities but also for the Kink communities. Don’t forget to register to vote as November is so very important to many of us and our civil liberties.

Amusingly, I had a funny situation of being asked to take the place of one of my fellow Primal presenters. This was actually the first time this situation had ever happened to me. I have heard of the School of Hard Knocks from my Leather sister, Sarah, before and I was excited to be asked to present in her neck of the woods. However, there was a slight schedule conflict. Thankfully, after looking over bus schedules, I figured out that it could be done. So off to Knoxville I went, looking forward to a new adventure. Home venues were how I started in the Lifestyle. So many people either opened their homes to kinksters or enough people pooled their money together to get a hotel conference room for the night. It was an amazing introduction to everything. Going to SHK brought back so many happy memories. The small venues really have been the backbone to our communities when clubs and conventions aren’t an option. It’s those small resources that allow us to have information passed on to those who aren’t on social media or even know that there are clubs and conventions just waiting to provide even a greater scope to who we are.

Then I traveled back to Nashville in time for the local community Gala. It was great to see my local friends and meeting new people who were sharing the experience the annual community gathering for the first time.

My coworkers and I were given new t shirts to wear. These people have been supportive of my lifestyle choices over the years. They even put up with listening to my SELF speech, presentation ideas, and other things. I am a firm believer that you can trust some of your vanilla friends and co workers with your lifestyle choices. This was taken just moments before I was leaving for the Florida Power Exchange.

I met some amazing people there at this 6 year old convention as well as other familiar folks. I was reminded again of no matter where you go in the Leather Community, you will always find kindred spirits to greet you and fold you into their family. I was there for the premier of “Kinkphobia” that was created by Harmony Studios and distributed by the Sanctuary Center (www.sanctuarycenter.us). It’s a documentary about the difficulties we have in finding a legal and mental assistance as well as the struggles for professionals like NCSF who wish to give assistance to those involved in the kinky community.  I was happy to give a part of my struggles as a mother going through the court system to maintain custody of her children. It’s been a road and I have seen changes in the legal system. But not enough for us to feel safe. Check out the documentary if you can.

My roommate looked at me dragging in my luggage and asked if I was ever going to be home. That’s what the remainder of my year has been like. Since October, I have been on the road by car, bus, and airplane. I determined that bus travel will be my last choice of travel. I had opportunities to be with a few of my sash family, my chosen family, and reconnecting with others.

My October started with reconnecting with my Sash Grandmother, Autumn Orange. She was the first SELF Person of Leather and a dear friend. She and I had discussed doing a degradation demo together at The Red Chair. So, we decided that the focus of the degradation demo would be age and weight. This was talked about over a few months to prep for as well as my history with being abused growing up. It felt like a powerful demo once we did it. And from the emails that I received, there were others that could relate to what we were doing. The real fear and other emotions of being considered too old in a community or not fitting the ideal image of what a submissive should look like. Even now, writing about that experience is hard. I rode back home with friends from the Nashville community who were wonderful in helping piece back parts of myself during the 4 hour drive. Once back home, I was immediately in the company of my chosen family to celebrate the wedding of my Brother/Protector and his beautiful Bride who I am proud to call Sister official now.

My Heterosexual Lifemate aka Best Friend had some bad news so I changed my plans to be with her in Columbus, OH. That trip was a strange twist of instead of focusing on what was going on, we went to have fun on her insistence. We first went a munch of The Space which is a local BDSM community. The people were friendly and told us of another munch going on that night.

So after a bit, we wandered over to Club Diversity. And that “let’s see what’s going on” turned into a not getting home until close to dawn.

There we met members of Trident of Columbus, OH. We walked into their Photo Night. There were pups, Leathermen, and Leatherwomen. And they opened their arms to us and we just spent all night talking and sharing experiences. The best part was that my Bestie found a place that she didn’t think she could find outside of SELF. Paul Tracy aka Sir Papa Bear is a kind spirit that I had connected with.

We ended up going to the local IHOP with several of the Trident members after their Photo Night. They were such a diverse group of people of ages and sexes. It was so wonderful to be with people like them for an evening until the early morning. We were then invited to join them with the Leather group called Scorpius. It turned out to be a fundraiser that we joined in on. I mean who doesn’t want to be locked up for charity.

I was then given a surprise of being asked to be a part of the Tridents. I was really floored and accepted to be pinned in Old Guard style under the watchful eye of their President. I am honored to be asked and proudly wear their pin on my leather vest now.

A few days later, I traveled by bus towards Reno, NV. I say towards because that trip didn’t quite go as planned for a cross country road trip. I am thankful for my Leather Family in Colorado Springs and Denver, CO and all the people who reached out to help me get to Reno. Instead of ending up in Reno, I was dropped off by Greyhound in Las Vegas where my Leather Mother, Soduire waited for me and put me on a plane to Reno, NV. I made it in time to do my first stint as a PoL judge at Revelry. Their convention is about 2 years old but with a community that is way older. Again, it was great to see such a diverse group working together to have a wonderful weekend laughing and learning. I was happy to have a chance to be around the unstoppable International Person of Leather, ABizzy as the Head Judge. And TC, the Producer of Rocky Mountain Rebellion 2018. Sitting between such strong women of our community just had me a bit flustered as you can tell from my trying to keep a silly grin off my face.

It was a eye opening experience of what you have to do to judge someone for a title. I am glad to have had that opportunity but it’s really not that easy to do. But I think that Nevada has a wonderful first PoL in Mike Blacksmith. I have a feeling that he will set the bar very well for future Nevada PoLs.

The following weekend found me in Charlotte, NC. This was my first time to CAPEX. There I did a presentation on Primal Play which has been very much a part of me since 2011. My sweet friend, Mistress Varii and Charlotte community have a wonderful group of people. I had the chance to spend a little time with my sash brother, Quazi. I had to take the long route back to Nashville. I didn’t mind much because my layover was in Atlanta and I had the chance to walk around the city for a while. I was given a reminder on the street that no matter how far that I travel, I will always return to the place that gave me a home.

There has been just so much happening. I was very fortunate to be able to spend New Year’s with my second home club,Voodoo Leatherworks, and my boyfriend. It’s always great to spend the first day of the new year with caring and loving people like my Colorado family.

I had a sad moment at the beginning of the year. A sweet friend named Reggie died in his sleep over the summer. His smile and living his life to the fullest was inspiring to all. His House gifted me with a few of his things in January. With their permission, I added one of his floggers in the auction basket for Sin in the City.

January went swiftly by as I prepared for the International Person of Leather competition. I stayed close to home visiting munches and going to The Laire in Clarksville as its my community home. I met a young man who is close to my youngest daughter’s age. I have become sort of a guide through the local communities. We attended Beast Mode at my first home club, The Red Chair, in Birmingham, AL, with other Nashvillians. Being with him allowed me to do my favorite activity of playing Kink Match Maker and matching new people with others who enjoy the same kinks. There’s a different kind of joy when you are able to connect people together.

While there, I was able to have my leathers attended to by Southeast Bootblack 2015, Girl_Friday. She cleaned and buffed my leathers to a bright and soft shine for Sin in the City. I am thankful for the care that she gave me and my leathers that night.

Going to Vegas was a lot easier this time and I was welcomed by my leather mom of 20 years who attended Sin in the City thanks to the generosity of Coco, Southeast Bootblack 2017. It was great visiting with her after several months of being apart. The next part was getting together with my roomies who were generous in letting me have the whole closet to myself as they have dealt with contestants before.

No fun weekend can be complete without something happening. On Friday, I misstepped in the parking lot and twisted my ankle badly. With adrenaline putting me through, I ignored my aching ankle until Saturday afternoon. I am thankful for Missouri 2018 Person of Leather, Redprimrose, for not only making me a fantastic Leather Pride tulle tutu but for binding my ankle up the last night of the contest. I am still in a wonder that I brought home the title again to the Southeast. So many people helped me achieve this title and I am grateful for their belief in me. I hope to bring the same energy and excitement to the title as ABizzy did.

I am planning a lot of different travels for this upcoming year which will include my step down as your SE Person of Leather at Southeast Leatherfest in June. But until then, I will be meeting up with people all over. See you in June!!!

Coming Soon!

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