Calendar of Events 2019 to 2020

7/19 - 7/21 Tarheel Leather Run

8/3 The Red Chair presents To Newbie with Love with Writergirl

9/20 - 9/22 Bootblack Roundup Chicago, IL

10/4 Pup and Leather Night @ Our Place. Birmingham, AL

10/11 - 10/13 CABLE Retreat Troy, Al

11/2 Red Dragons Bogalusa, LA

12/6 Pup and Leather Night @ Our Place. Birmingham, AL

2020

1/3 Pup and Leather Night @ Our Place. Birmingham, AL

1/25 Erotic Bootblacking with Mycalyne @ Whimper, Atlanta, GA

2/7 - 2/9 Southern Sole Atlanta, GA

2/21 Erotic Bootblacking with Mycalyne @ FLAIR, Atlanta, GA

3/7 Pup and Leather Night @ Our Place. Birmingham, AL

3/13 - 3/15 Mx Virginia @ Fallout, Richmond, VA

3/20 LLC Atlanta, GA

4/3 Pup and Leather Night @ Our Place. Birmingham, AL

4/11 Leather Night @ Iniquities Fetish Boutique, Birmingham, AL

4/16 - 4/19 Competing for International Ms Bootblack @ IMsLBB Weekend, San Jose, CA

4/30 - 5/3 Frolicon Atlanta, GA

6/5 Pup and Leather Night @ Our Place. Birmingham, AL

6/12 - 6/14 SELF 25!!!!

The Face of Depression

Hi, my name is Mycalyne and I suffer with Chronic Major Depression.

Looking back on my childhood, I truly believe my depression began after multiple episodes of sexual abuse by a male cousin. I attempted to tell a female cousin to whom I was close, but when she didn’t believe me, I did not try to tell anyone else. Being that I was a child and it being in the 70’s, my symptoms went unnoticed.

I did not seek treatment until in my mid-twenties I was triggered by my nephew being accused of sexually abusing one of his cousins. I was placed on anti-depressants and went to counseling. It was during this time that I came face to face with the stigma of mental illness. The person to whom I was married at the time scoffed at me receiving treatment and would often call me weak-minded. My own parents would change the subject if I brought it up. I was made to feel that my thoughts and feelings were not valid. Despite this, I persevered and continued on with my treatment. Within a few months, I finally began to feel better than I had in years. I wish I could say that this was the end of my depression, but as with a lot of people, after a couple of years of feeling better, I thought I could handle everything on my own and stopped taking my medication. I thought at least this would make my home life easier. I couldn’t have been more wrong. It wasn’t long until my symptoms began to slowly return. Seizing the opportunity, my husband’s belittling and gaslighting doubled. My depression spiraled out of control. I didn’t want to talk with anyone. I didn’t want to go anywhere or do anything. All I wanted to do was sleep. I began having suicidal thoughts. The ONLY thing that kept me breathing was my two young sons. Eventually, I began wondering if I shouldn’t just go ahead and go through with it because how could I possibly be good for them. It was at this time when my now Owner and husband came strolling back into my life. He showed me that I truly was worthy of love and happiness and that life could be worth living. He actually encouraged me to start treatment again. Within a short time, my kids and I were living on our own and I was going through a divorce. It was a long hard 2 years, but at the end I was happy and doing well. Now don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t smooth sailing because I still had to contend with my kids father and the mind games he played with my kids and tried to continue playing with me. With my new found strength and mental wellbeing, we marched on.

Fast forward several years to a time in my life that I briefly discussed in my speech during my title run. My kids were grown and living out the plans for their futures. My Owner and I were adjusting to an empty nest. I had been successfully off of medication for nearly a year when I was involved in a car accident just 3 weeks after my youngest had gone off to bootcamp. In the aftermath of the accident, I had to deal with a significant injury to my leg that was not healing properly which caused severe pain, the accident being deemed my fault when it should not have been, the threat of being sued by the driver who was at fault, the loss of being able to serve my Owner due to my injury and trying to put on a happy face and keep the accident and subsequent events from my son in order to prevent more stress on him while he was working to become a Marine. My symptoms of depression spiraled out of control. Thankfully, my Owner recognized what was happening and quickly got me back on my meds. Even though the meds began to work, I still had absolutely no drive or interest in doing anything. Everything was a struggle. While I did not begin to have suicidal thoughts again, not waking up the next day would have been ok too. It was then that I picked up my bootblack kit and felt that spark of purpose. As I said in my speech, as I cleaned and polished each piece of leather I worked on, it was if I were cleaning and polishing away the depression.

I can proudly report that today, I am doing well and am still on meds. I won’t say that it is easy because some days it is hard as hell. When things become overwhelming, I talk with my Owner, close friends or family. There are times that even that is too much. When this happens, I withdraw to my craft room, turn on some music to drown out my thoughts and play with my alcohol inks, watercolors, cricut, or some other crafting project. There have been times that I just need to cry it out. I’ve done this in the shower as well as asking my Owner for good cathartic scene to get the tears flowing. I know of many people that go for a run or do some other type of exercise to increase endorphins in their system to help increase their mood. Other people journal to get their thoughts out of their head and onto paper so they can process through them.

My purpose for telling all of you this is not to get sympathy. It is to draw attention to the fact that despite the thoughts and beliefs of some people, depression is real. It causes heartbreak and can take lives. It happens to people of all walks of life and knows no socioeconomic barriers. I also want to draw attention to the fact that it is very much treatable and survivable. If you find yourself in the depths of depression, keep fighting to find the way out. Reach out to friends and family that you feel you can trust. Seek out treatment. If you’re feeling suicidal and don’t feel you have anyone to whom you can talk, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 800-273-8255. The road can be long and filled with potholes that are difficult to escape, but it is navigable. YOU CAN DO IT.

My name is Mycalyne and I am the face of depression.

Hello, everyone!

Usually around Thanksgiving is when you see people posting about all the people and things for which they are thankful. I’m going to shift that paradigm a little. I want to be thankful every day for all the amazing people, places, and things that are and have been a part of my life. I consider myself a very blessed person so this may not be a short read. Just FYI, after the first 3, my list is in no particular order.

1. My owner and love of my life - SirThomas205 has been a part of my life since I was 17 years old. We were absent from each for several years, but when He walked back into my life, I knew it was going to be forever. He is more than just my owner. He is my touchstone, my safe harbor, and my biggest cheerleader. I couldn’t have asked for a better bonus father and example of what to strive to be as an adult. I can’t imagine my life without him.
2. My higher power and creator - I am a Christian. I believe that everyone has the right to believe, pray to, or worship whomever or whatever they choose. Just because my favorite color is purple does not mean yours has to be. The world would be an awfully boring place if we all looked, dressed, talked, and thought the same way. I value diversity in the world. I feel that we all have a lot we can learn from each other.
3. My biological and chosen families - Like a good many people in the lifestyle, my bio family is mixed with people who have no idea about the double life I lead and others who know all about it. Some of them would be supportive. Some of them not so much. In either case, I love them and am thankful for who they are (good or bad) because they helped shape me into the person I am today. My chosen family is made up of a very diverse group of people. They love and support me even when I’m not feeling worthy. They are my exemplars of who I want to be when I grow up.
4. The Red Chair - I proudly tell every kinky person I meet about my awesome kinky home where I have been nurtured and allowed to grow. I am happy to be a part of a club that allows me to nurture others in return.
5. CABLE (Central Alabama Birmingham Leather Enthusiasts) - From the ashes of the former Leather community in Birmingham, CABLE is rising like a phoenix. It is our goal to rekindle, revive, and renew our local Leather community. I am honored to serve as CABLE’s first treasurer.
6. My community (both local and scattered across the globe) - I am thankful for each and every one of you who consider yourselves a part of the Leather or Kinky community. All of you help provide and hold space for every other person who considers themselves a part of this community. Without all of you, I wouldn’t have a place where I could be myself and meet the people I consider to be my chosen family. You guys are amazing!!!
7. SELF (Southeast Leatherfest) and Lady Catherine - I am so honored to be a part of this family. Lady Catherine has been very supportive of our sash family from the moment we met her. She makes sure that we stop and take care of ourselves as people. She listens to our ideas and works with us to make those ideas into reality. Without SELF and Lady Catherine, I wouldn’t have the platform I do to reach out to others about bootblacking. Without the hard work and commitment by the volunteers, SELF would not be the kickass event that is. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
8. My sponsors - My sponsors for my SELF title and now my run for International Ms Bootblack have been so generous with their donations. You have helped take on some of the financial aspects of being a titleholder. I am forever grateful. In an effort to repay them in a small way, I’d like to mention them here.
     a. CABLE - Come join us for a drink or two at Brennan’s Irish Pub. Join our Facebook page to find out when we’ll be there.
     b. Fantasies in Leather (www.etsy.com/fantasiesinleather) creates custom erotic and enticing leather toys, gear, and garments. In their Etsy shop, you’ll find beautiful tooled and hand painted leather covered flasks, masks, bowties, pocket flags, leather fans, collars, cuffs and so much more. They also have products and accessories to help care for all of your lovely leather goods.
     c. Iniquities Fetish Boutique (www.iniquitiesbham.com) is Birmingham’s only fetish boutique. They have a wide variety of sex and BDSM toys, sexy lingerie and clothing, accessories, candles, CBD products, incense, and other specialty items. You can also take individual pole dancing classes or get a tattoo in Mambo Baptiste’s tattoo studio in the back of the shop!
     d. Servant’s Retreat (www.bdsmclasses.com/index.php/sr1) focuses on using tools to be a whole person and bringing the power of everything you are into your service. The weekend seminar has dates open in several cities throughout the US.
     e. The Red Chair (www.theredchair.org) is Birmingham’s only BDSM club. We like to think of ourselves as a kinky community center. We are all about education, supporting our members and community, and having lots of fun!
     f. Unique Kink (www.uniquekink.com) makes a variety of gorgeous floggers, dragontails, scorpions, and other leather toys made from bull, deer, and bison hides in a rainbow of colors. What makes them unique is that the toys themselves are “heads” for the detachable handle.
     g. A host of individual contributors also donated to my silent auction baskets. Words can’t express how humbled I am by your generosity. Thank you so much for believing in me and wanting to be a part of my journey!

I am also thankful for the common everyday things. These are things that some people take for granted. Things like:

1. My job - Without it, I would not be able to help put a roof over my family’s heads, food in our bellies, or travel and do the fun things we get to do.
2. My home - A lot of people must live with family or friends or may not even have a home.
3. My health - While I do have some issues, it is nothing compared to the issues others must deal with every single day.

The list could go on. The point is to stop and be thankful each and every day for the blessings and miracles in our lives. There is so much sadness in the world that we have to remind ourselves how lucky we are.

“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if one only remembers to turn on the light.”
~Albus Dumbledore~

In service,
mycalyne

Don’t Overthink...Just Do It.

Thinking about running for a Leather title, but those butterflies or knots in your stomach keep getting bigger and bigger? Then you find out who your running mates are and you think to yourself, “What am I doing?!?!” Trust me. You are NOT alone. No matter how confident one is, there is always at least a tad bit of fear, trepidation, or self-doubt. Don’t let it stop you! As the current International Ms. Bootblack, Gretchen Wellman, asked me, “Would it be better to go ahead and do it or always wonder what if you had?”

You may be saying, “Sure, mycalyne, that’s all great and wonderful, but you’ve already won a title.” Let me tell you, I have been sitting right where you are now. As a matter of fact, I still ask myself that question whenever I am faced with a new challenge. In case you are thinking about running for a title, let me tell you the things I did to prepare and things I learned I should have done or should have done more.

1. Do your research on the title itself. Does the title you’re considering fit you, your lifestyle, your goals, your values? Are the title responsibilities something that you will be able to fulfill? Are you willing to put in the time and effort to represent your title, sponsors, producers, and title family the way they should be represented? Do you have the time and financial resources to travel to events and speaking engagements?

2. RESEARCH YOUR JUDGES. Find out (and remember) things that are important to them, groups in which they may be involved, pet projects, etc. TRUST ME, this WILL come up during your interview with them.

3. Do your research on Leather history. Yes, I know this is a very broad topic, but if you don’t know at least some history, how can you carry on the legacy of the ones who paved the way for us today and how are you going to be able to add to that legacy? The best place to start is learning the history of the contest in which you will be participating. Knowing its history can point you in the right direction of where you need to go.

4. Write and learn your speech. Make sure it lets the judges know who you are. I can’t say this enough, practice, practice, practice. Practice when you’re alone. Practice in front of a mirror. Practice in front of others. Just remember, don’t let it become so rehearsed that it no longer seems genuine. Time yourself to make sure you stay as close to your time limit as possible. You will get points deducted if it is too short or you go over the time limit.

5. Write your fantasy early. Allow your personality and who you are to shine through. Discuss your ideas with others. Listen to their suggestions. Choose music that gets your audience involved in your fantasy. If your fantasy will include others, keep the number to a minimum and make sure you choose people who are reliable and whose schedule is flexible so you don’t have to scramble at the last minute to find replacements. Practice with props and costumes that you will be using to make sure you know how the prop/costume will do what you need them to do during your fantasy. Practice until everyone is comfortable and knows what their part.

6. Have a handler. This will be someone who will help you keep track of time and get you where you need to go when you need to be there. Make a schedule and map out where you need to be. If possible, they need to actually go to each place so they know for sure how to get to each place and find any shortcuts. They will also need to carry a backpack with things you may need such as water, snacks, a sewing kit (wardrobe malfunctions happen), pain relievers for headaches, antacids if you’re prone to heartburn, some sort of mints to keep your breath fresh, and anything else you think you might need. Go over every detail with them so that they can anticipate when you might need something and when to have meals ready for you. You will be relying on them a great deal so make sure you choose someone who is reliable and can be forceful when needed.

7. Make a list of everything you will need and check them off as you pack them. If you are running for a title that includes a skill such as bootblacking,triple check all of your needed supplies. Don’t forget even the smallest item. Make sure you have a SHARPIE. I say this because you will only be allowed the supplies you bring.

8. Make a spreadsheet of what clothing you will be wearing and when. It is also a good idea to group those things together and label them with when you will need them. Remember, you may not have much time to change so make your changes as simple and easy as possible.

9. Practice your skill. This kind of goes without saying, but for the technical portion of the judging, you will be limited to a specific time. This is your time to shine (for you bootblacks, see what I did there...lol) so show up and show out! Do as much as you possibly can within your time limit.

10. Make your auction items or baskets unique. Include an interesting story about the item if there is one. Display them in an attractive manner. Also remember that it’s better to have several smaller baskets than one big basket. This money is for the titleholder’s travel fund. Every dollar helps!

11. If you are given raffle tickets to sell, ask EVERYONE even event staff and volunteers. The worst they can do is say no. Most likely the money raised is for the titleholder’s travel fund. Again every dollar helps!

12. BE EARLY to your events. Judges do not like to be kept waiting and appreciate it when you’re ready when they are.

13. During your interview(s), show who you are. Try to relax. Take the first move to shake their hand when introduced. The judges are people just like you are. They want to see you succeed and they are genuinely interested in you.

14. BREATHE AND HAVE FUN!!! Get out there and talk to people. You will be meeting others that you might not otherwise have the opportunity.

15. Most importantly, when it’s all said and done whether you win or not, THANK THE PEOPLE WHO HELPED YOU, THE JUDGES, THE SPONSORS, THE PRODUCER, AND ABSOLUTELY NOT LEAST...THE EVENT VOLUNTEERS! Without all of them, there would be no event and no title for which to run.

This by no means is an all inclusive list. It’s just some things that I have learned along the way and will be keeping in mind for myself as I move forward to other challenges in my life.

Running and being honored with the title of Southeast Bootblack has been an amazing adventure. Leading up to SELF 2019, there were times when I felt like an imposter, thought I wasn’t good enough, wasn’t talented enough, wasn’t smart enough, well, just wasn’t enough period. I am here to tell you that you are! Believe in yourself. Practice. Study. Prepare. You can achieve anything. So what do you say? Are you in?

Connections
9/28/19
Traveling during my title year has afforded me the luxury of making new connections with
people that I otherwise would most likely have never made. While thinking about all of these connections, my mind drifted to different types of connections. There are those that last only moments between 2 strangers as one holds the door open for the other or nods to one another in traffic. There are those that last for a couple of hours while 2 strangers are sitting next to each in a waiting room and they strike up a conversation. Then there are connections that become deeper and more meaningful. Those that blossom into friendships, romantic love, or D/s or M/s relationships.
The one I’d like to talk with you about today is the connection between bootblack and client. Here again, these connections have varying depths. Once someone is in my chair, I try to gauge what they are looking for at that moment. Often it is just to relax for a few moments while their leather is being shined or conditioned. It is in these instances where my hands make the connection with their leather and whatever body part is beneath while my mouth remains silent. I allow my energy to flow through them in efforts to help them relax or enjoy their bootblack experience even more.
Sometimes my clients are more inquisitive about the bootblacking process and want to learn how to better care for their leather. Here the connection is more teacher to student. While I really enjoy helping someone relax, I love teaching someone about leather care even more. It is during these connections that I also get to learn more about the leather’s history and the client’s journey. When we are finished and my client walks away, I feel richer for having a 2 way share of knowledge.
If I know the client well and we both are feeling the need for something more, we may take the connection a little deeper and have a little fun by adding a bit of play into the mix. Being that I have been exploring my switchy side, things can get pretty interesting. Depending on where they fall on the spectrum, I can be more dominant and tie them to my chair, use more forceful strokes when applying conditioner and maybe even admonish them for being such a dirty girl or boy. I can also use my submissive side and give them a true spit shine on their boots by licking the toe cap. Let me just tell ya, that flow of energy is like none other. Thinking about it gives me tingling sensations in all the right places. :)
The thing to remember is that only you can know the depths of a connection that you make. I say this because recently I learned that a connection I made with a client went much deeper than I had thought it to be. A few years back at one of my first Frolicons, a gentleman sat for me. He shared that he was relatively new to the lifestyle and had just bought his first pair of leather boots and this was the first time sitting in a bootblack’s chair. I shared with him steps on how to better care for his leather while making sure I focused on him to ensure his enjoyment of the bootblack experience. When we were finished, he thanked me, went on his way and I savored the moment of the energy exchange then focused my attention on my next client. I didn’t really think about the person again. Flashforward to SELF this past year. Someone I had been crushing on for a long time sat down in my chair. As we chatted and flirted a bit, he began to tell me about his first experience sitting in a bootblack’s chair and how that interaction developed a bit of a fetish for him. He went on to say that he didn’t remember a lot about the bootblack because he was focusing on the experience and how she made him feel. He remembered that she was from out of town and had a very specific tattoo. When he said those words, I froze. Even though I was pretty sure I knew the answer, I asked him to describe the tattoo. The description of one of my tattoos flowed through his lips and up my spine. Imagine his surprise when I told him that I was the bootblack. Once he recovered from shock, he told me that he had been asking people for years if they might know the bootblack of whom he was speaking.
The connections we make help guide our path. A brief connection through a smile can brighten someone’s day. A longer encounter can make a connection that leaves a lasting impression on someone you don’t even know.
So here is to making connections that make everyone’s step a little peppier, heart a little lighter, and path much brighter.
In Leather,
mycalyne

Hello, Southeast Leatherfest Family!

I am the 2019 Southeast Bootblack.

Even after 2 weeks of being able to say that, I am still in awe of that statement. Everyone keeps saying how hard I have worked to accomplish this goal. I did work hard, but I could never have done it by myself. I have been encouraged and supported every step of the way by some amazing people. I’d like to take this opportunity to thank them.

First and foremost, to my Master, my Owner, the love of my life, SirThomas205 whose love, guidance, and gentle (and sometimes not so gentle ;)) reminders to keep me on track, thank You, Master, we did it!!! Eos_Aurora84, thank you for being my handler and sounding board throughout the past few months. Talking things through with you helped me get my thoughts in the right order. Jared, thank you for letting me take Eos_Aurora84 away from you for a little while and for bringing us much needed nourishment.

A huge thank you to my fantasy cast and crew made up of Girl Friday, Ms. Rhonda, SirThomas205, Eos_Aurora84, Tony the Gray, Country, Tammy, the SELF stage, lighting, and sound crew, and all of you who listened to me and made suggestions during the planning stage. ALL of you helped take what I had in my head and translate it into a visual of how I feel about bootblacking.

Trinity’s amazing writing and editorial skills taught me how to tell my story with more interesting details. Thank you, my friend!

I am also very thankful for my personal cheering section made up of my CABLE and TRC community as well as my Atlanta family. A few of them came specifically just to support me. Seeing and hearing you while on stage filled my heart with joy and stopped my knees from knocking.

To Lady Catherine, Miss Bettie, Jack, boy Andy, and the SELF staff and board, thank you so much for all you do to manage all the million and one details that make SELF the educational and safe space it is. Master Blue did great job getting the contestants ready for competition in the months leading up to the event. boy David, our Den Daddy, has a bag that would make Mary Poppins jealous.

Our judging panel, Sir David Labriola, GoddessMW, Master Robert, Sacara, and ServiceKitty and Technical Boot judges Dale and MsPomegranate are the bomb! They truly care about the contestants and did their best to make us feel at ease. Thank you all for your comments and guidance.

An enormous thank you to SELF’s phenomenal volunteers! Without you, SELF would not be possible. I’m not sure if many people know just how much they do. I mean, we have volunteers for everything from working the front desk to hosting cocktail parties to setting up and breaking down the dungeon to being runners for any needful thing. We even have our own medical staff that walks around the event to take care of minor injuries and illness!

Tori, Tid Bit, and all of the bootblacks who showed up and shared their talent and skill to make all of our leather look good, You Guys Rock! Through their hard work and generosity, more than $400 was raised for the Titleholder Travel Fund! Thank you so much for that support!!

Speaking of the Travel Fund and generosity, let me tell y’all about my auction baskets. I don’t know who won them, but they are enjoying beautiful craftsmanship of Unique Kink (handmade leather floggers), MyBlueMarie (hand crocheted blanket), ChrisTheGirl (hand painted boot dragon), RedDog (handmade CABLE logo paddle), Buddha-man (handmade “lightening” paddle) and TigerSyr (leather pocket and rawhide cane). Other contributions of cigars, a silver ashtray, pins, alcohol, kinky movies, self care items and other toys were donated by SirThomas205, Ronin68, SoDomBlu, Luggage Monkeys, CallmeCara, Eos_Aurora84, TopQuark, and Bama. Thank you all so much!!!

Our vendors were awesome this year and gave us a wide variety of pretties to choose from. They also provided items for the raffle. Thank you to Dorrie from Dorrie’s Creations for fixing the chainmail on my medallion when it wouldn’t lay correctly.

Since winning the title, I have had some continue to contribute financially and materially to my personal travel fund. Katie_Beth and RedStateKinkster, I am awestruck at the amazing cigar service kit you gifted to me to use in my Cigar Service class.

Whew! See what I mean??? That’s a lot of people that have helped me along the way and that doesn’t even take in to account all the well wishers and offers of support both at home and at SELF. Seriously though, I am truly humbled by the tremendous outpouring of love and support. If you said an encouraging word, gave me tips on how to better prepare for my speech, told me how proud you are of me, or just gave me a hug, you are a part of my journey and I am eternally grateful.

Now it’s time for me to really get busy and take full advantage of the honor for which I have been entrusted. I already have plans to attend the Tarheel Leather Run July 19th – 21st in North Carolina. I’m working on setting up other teaching opportunities around the Southeast as well. If you are putting together an event, would like me to come teach, or just attend, please reach out to me at 2019SEBootblack@gmail.com, friend me on Facebook (mycalyne Bootblack), or follow me on Twitter (Mycalyne1).

See you all soon!

In Leather,
mycalyne

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